As usual I can't sleep and it's most likely related to ims or taking a nap earlier. Tomorrow I am leaving for Philadelphia, PA to see my aunt and my four cousins plus some other people in the area. I'm sitting here talking to someone on im and realizing how stupid I've been lately. We all take for granted what we have. I have an amazing job and I work with great people. I have family and friends that will support me no matter what crazy thing I do, especially my dad and my boyfriend. I have the coolest best friend, Leah, in the whole wide world (who just got into both grad school program she applied to at Wash U congrats). I am in excellant health. Yeah the occasional bout of allergies or bronchitis, but I'm not dying. Some people out there can't say the same. Disturbingly enough I am getting a lot of recognition, which is hard to deal with for someone who was always sitting outside the box. I have it pretty good. I have it more than pretty good it's pretty amazingly awesome for me. For me there has been a lot of struggles, but throughout those struggles I always had it pretty amazingly awesome. I would advise you all to look at your life and pick out the reall great stuff. Dwell on those items in your life, because if you think about it we are here for maybe 80 years or 100 years, but if you sit around thinking about how horrible life is what's worth living for in those years? Who cares about awards or recognition or who you know it's really more about will someone get your back if you fall...The older I get the more I realize how important it is to have really strong friendships. If you don't see me post for a really long time I'm spending time with the people that matter to me. I'm really sorry, but I promised myself this year I would try harder and that's what I'm trying to do. I'll catch you all later.